I've had an almost identical situation to this. Even down to the instant post coital look when my heart stopped where I saw the mask had dropped and he looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. In my sitaution, I outright called him a rapist, then spent the next few years swinging from feeling guilty about it and blaming myself for being so stupid, to being glad i did as I'm sure this caused him deep pain. The situation has damaged me though. I didnt have a lot of trust in men to start with and now I have even less. Thanks for writing about it. You've given me some validation that you feel the same.